28 February 2007
The Green Notebook - 2 - The Curse
- Part one: The Blessing
- Part two: The Curse
- Part three: Aftermath
As I wrote about before, I’m a big believer that the financial attitudes and behaviors we have are greatly influenced by how our parents dealt with money. Depending on your situation, that can be wonderful, horrible, or somewhere in between. One doesn’t have to look far to find many stories of people who’s financial health was a sad state of affairs through their college years and 20’s due in part to how they were raised and taught to use money (or not taught, as the case may be).
In any case, we now turn to the financial legacy of my father and its effects on me. By no means am I blaming anything on him, I think that my anxiety over money is more a function of lack of trust in God than anything else.
You see, most people have something they “like” to worry about. And when I say like, I don’t mean enjoy, I really just mean it’s the thing that worries them, if they find themselves worrying. It can be all sorts of things: your health, your weight, your family, your job, terrorists (which interestingly, means the terrorists have already won jk.), you name it.
For me… it’s money.
And as far as I (and my wife and friends) can tell, it’s completely irrational. We have no credit card debt, our expenses are fairly modest (modest with regard to expenses is in the eye of the beholder though, no?), we have enough savings to sustain us for roughly three months with no income (which is unlikely, as the wife and I have three income sources between the two of us), and at the moment we’re able to save roughly 16% of our net income.
It’s also somewhat entertaining as a good friend recently said to me, “It’s kind of funny you worry so much about money. I mean, in our budget we don’t really have any savings right now. I should probably be worrying about it more than I do.” I asked if he wanted half of the worry I have. He said no.
In any case, I worry. Not every day, but often enough. And the worry is slowly and painfully teaching me a lesson… Anxiety over your finances do not automagically disappear as you gain more wealth. If anything, the reverse is true.
You see, when you’re broke, you have a certain set of financial concerns:
-Will I have enough money to pay my bills?
-What if I lose my job?
-What if I get sick?
When you get some money, some of those evaporate, but they are quickly replaced with:
-What if someone steals my money or stuff(hacker or mugger or scammer)?
-What if the value of my assets drops (house, stocks, mutual funds)?
-Will I have enough money to retire?
If anything, the first set of problems are alot simpler. That doesn’t make them alot easier to deal with, just different. The point is that more money doesn’t make financial anxiety go away, it just changes it.
Don’t get me wrong here, all of the above questions deserve our attention, but in the proper fashion. And just so its completely clear, laying awake at night considering them is not the proper fashion.
So that’s me. Please feel free to share about the financial legacy passed down to you by your parents (doesn’t have to be negative!).
3 Comments currently posted.
Ariah Fine says:
the wife says:
I’ve never had to worry about money since we’ve been married. I know you are doing all of the worrying anyway. Plus, if I had thought it would have made you worry less, I would have done the finance stuff for you. I just figured it would make you worry more, not knowing every detail and all that.
Amanda says:
I had a friend in school who used to be just like that. Here I was, working all the time (as a server-might I add) while being a full-time college student, not having really any support from family, 19 and very uninformed about life in general, and broke. And I mean BROKE (like I was living off my credit cards). One day I was at her house hanging out and she starts in about how she doesnt know if she’s going to be able to go on this ministry trip next week becuase she doesnt have any money (she was a server too). I sympathazed with her, but much to my dismay, the next morning I happened to look down at her checkbook that she left laying on her bed and I was shocked. It wasnt like a ton of money, but she had more money than most people have when they are 19! And a savings accout, and she had just finnished paying her car off, and she was still living at home (rent free). What tha? I had no idea. I asked her about it and she said, “amanda, you just never know what can happen. This is not having money to me. Its not enough.” ok… whatever. If she only knew my position…. she would maybee change the way she saw her position. But this same friend, whether she has a lot or not very much, still tends to ‘freak out’ a lot about money.
Your right, for many money can be such a big worry, regardless of their level of income.
I grew up not worrying about it much at all, my wife, the daughter of a banker, is constantly thinking about it.
I handle the finances for the two of us, creates less stress, but occasionally it gets really tense when I haven’t been keeping close enough track to make her feel at peace about it.
Great topic.